The kids and I have had a rough few months. Kevin has been working a lot, super long days and nights. We traveled a few times over the summer and celebrated with family but we have not had a normal weekend at home with Kevin in awhile. We have broken our routine of taking time for self-care on the weekends and we are both trying our best to keep going through this hard busy time.
You are probably not thinking about self- care while you are busy wiping the buts of a grumpy toddler, and packing lunches. I find myself thinking about how badly I would just like to take a shower when I want to, rather than constantly having to schedule it around what works for everyone else. It is very easy to manifest a self-loathing mindset. We have a lot to juggle as a mom and wife. Stay at home moms have it tough. In a stigma that they “have it made.”
While I could spend money on a babysitter and go to the nail salon, or whatever I felt like doing. It does not come without guilt. Guilt that I can’t just do something for myself without feeling like I am neglecting an important area of my duties. So when you really can not get away from the duties and practice self-care the glamorous way. Here are a few things that work for me…
- Incorporate the kids. My daughter has really started to enjoy painting her nails and taking a bath. So I will set us up to enjoy those things together.
- light a candle. While you are cooking the glow of a candle is relaxing. There’s something about a candle that makes me relax. Is that strange?
- Sip a luxe tea. When I am tired and achy at the end of the day I love my relaxing teas. I have found CBD tea is much more relaxing than a glass of wine, and I have found really amazing beauty products that contain CBD. If you have not yet incorporated CBD into your life I encourage you to explore.
- Wake up Early.
- REPEAT positive mantras. This one has changed my life. I have always been the women whose happiness depended upon the approval of others. If you know what I mean, almost like an overachiever but I had legit anxiety over it. I had a hard time after I had my daughter with PPD and I learned ALOT while I was getting better. With the emotion, you express during something negative you could do much much more if you stay calm and process something before reacting. Controlling your mindset will give you the power to manipulate the situation from bringing you DOWN dOwN DOWN to level, in control and positive. The better you are at controlling a negative situation the better equipped you are for success. This is easily applied to motherhood. Rough days, followed by lonely rough nights is exhausting. These mantras will help you like they have helped me.
- Bad Moments Don’t Make Bad Moms
- Be still and notice.
- ever sit down and eat your dinner before you even realized you were sitting…. this one’s for you.
- I am the most important influence in my children’s lives.
- I do not need to do it all
Sometimes I need to appreciate getting out of the house for school on time or taking a weekend trip to get breakfast. Being a good mom is important but so is being a good wife. It’s not easy to be a good wife when you are stressed out as a mom. If you acknowledge that you can not do it all and figure it out, you can work together to find a solution. My husband and I are not perfect but we do understand now what each other needs. Love and support no matter the difficult road we may be traveling. Realize that its normal and what makes a strong relationship is the commitment to learning and loving each other.
At the end of the day, it’s all just a phase and this too shall pass.
Thank you My Nest Design for this adorable matching pajamas.